Give yourself a gift-You-only better!

Look in the mirror. What do you see? 
I hope for your sake you can see what others can't.
What is it you think you see? More important- what do you hear when you talk to yourself? What are you saying? Is it of quality?
Consider a book for mind widening on this topic.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self

Shad Helmstetter

Recently, I had to write an accomplshment based resume. This was an exercise in something that I am not great at. I have trouble talking about myself. Like when I'm supposed to introduce myself in a new setting, I find it difficult. I struggle with meeting new people and being confident in myself. 

I worked really hard to make my achievements be the key points. I found what worked the best for me was to think of my resume as a vehicle to sell a product. I just happened to be that product. Communicating the best parts of my product - me - made the most effective resume. 

"Remember to be yourself " words not to live by unless you know who you are and how to be yourself. One day, I'm my kid's mom, one day I am Mark's wife, then I am Jeanne, Lorraine, and Marcel's little sister, and ...'s friend and on an on. I worry that I will become entwined in these personas and lose myself. 

I hear from women in the same dynamic that they feel the same way. Who am I? "To thine own self be true"-great if you know who you are. Are you one person or a spicy blend of all. 

What makes my empowerment so true to me...

 If you're wondering what makes me such an expert on Self Esteem and Empowerment, well first things first, I'm not an expert. Unless you happen to believe that life experience and passion to the subject makes you an expert, and then maybe I am an expert...you decide. You have that power! 

I was born in the late sixties to a very French catholic mother. She was a lovely woman but she sent mixed messages. She said that she had changed her name when she was younger because it was Isabelle. Her friends shortened it, as kids will do, and called her "Belle". My mother was appalled and struggled with the thought that this name would surely mark her in the eyes of God with a sign of vanity. For this, she would burn. 

My mother never wore make-up, except for classic red lipstick. This always meant she was going out. This was confusing, vanity is a sin but blood red lipstick is a classic look. 

One day, for no conceivable reason, I looked in the mirror. I stared and stared and wondered. I wondered what makes someone pretty? Was I pretty? I decided in that short moment that I liked what I saw enough that this would never be a problem for me. At thirteen, this was my first sign of rebellion. 

I questioned things from then on I needed to know why? Without the Internet and social media to turn to as a resource, I read.  I read what I could, about the subjects that interested me. I've taken personal development classes and my ultimate interest in self-esteem and empowerment came from my children.

I have three very independent, confidant and self-thinking individuals of whom I am very proud. My most substantial struggle has come from helping my daughter with her diagnosis of Early Onset Childhood Bipolar and ADHD, anxiety, ODD, and OCD at the tender age of ten. She is our second child and our first daughter. My husband and I have been together for a long time and will be married for 25 years in Septemeber-11.

(That’s another story)

Owning and managing my own business was where I accumulated knowledge of this subject and translated it into leadership skills. By managing people, and my home was an amazing, learning platform from which this wisdom grew.

Please don’t think that I woke up one day, read a book, or watched an e-learning doc and became an expert. Throughout the development of this conversation you will come to understand the knowledge base that drives me to share my experiences to empower you.

Messages reflect who we are

It’s difficult to have a high self esteem when, as a woman in business or just the regular world, we send ourselves negative messages. Our inner voice that controls our thoughts and the messages we communicate with ourselves is not always one that should be listened to. Being conscious of the messages we send ourselves is vital to our success as strong, empowered women.

Empowerment comes from within

When your eyes opened this morning, what were the thoughts in your mind. What were those first thoughts? Were they positive or did they sound like; I’m so tired, I can’t believe it’s already morning, I hate that damn alarm, or Cat, get off my head.

What if you were empowered to change these? You are!                             For the next 20 days, change the thoughts. Make an effort to open your eyes tomorrow morning and change the message.

• ·      If you believe in a higher spirit, Be thankful for the day.
• ·      Know that there is “Nothing that is going to happen today that you and your higher power can’t handle”
• ·      The things you have to do today don’t have to be overwhelming, let them be opportunities to complete so you can get the the good stuff
• ·      Always have good stuff-make it simple like a date with yourself for hot chocolate or a half hour to read, something that you like

At the end of each of those 20 days, take a few minutes to be nice to yourself.Replay the events of the day, learn from them and let the rest go, it’s over and your do-over starts tomorrow

• ·      Thank your higher power for the day
• ·      Pray
• ·      Tell yourself there is nothing that is going to happen that you and your higher power can’t handle tomorrow
• ·      Close your eyes

Be practical

Only you can make your life simpler and easier to live and enjoy. It amazes me how much power we really have to influence our own thoughts and actions and yet most of us go through our day succumbing to the pace set by others.

Set your own pace! It’s not a race. Everyone gets the same twenty-four hours in his or her day. The difference is in how you use or waste them.

·      Be organized- any system that helps to keep you on track is the right one for you

·      Prioritize-know who and what is important to you

·      Be grateful-love yourself and the people who matter in your life

·      Schedule “me” time

·      Schedule “couple” time

·      Make time for your friends

Send an email

Pick up the phone

Or even better, go for coffee and share

This is a first step to being positive and making a small change that will empower you to be a positive influence to the most important person in your life-yourself.

Knowledge is Power or Mind over Matter?

 https://cid-b8809c502a75f046.office.live.com/browse.aspx/.QuickDocuments  (Family Update)

Knowledge is Power is a very cliche saying these days. Still, there is something to be said for this statement. The more I educate myself with the technology being used today, the more power I seem to have to manipulate the messages being communicated.
To simply put out a family newsletter on a Blogpage, I had to make several attempts and inquiries as to how to make the media work together. Uploading photos and text boxes together is a whole new world for those who are self taught at computers. click above for Family Update 

Mind over Matter is a concept of self teaching that comes from determination to make something work. To understand it or not let it get the best of you. Determination can be a very powerful leadership tool. If it wasn't for this I wouldn't be where I am today.

I met with my first computer when I needed to make sense of my business. As a new owner of Subway, I felt I should know how to work one. I brought the new, very intimidating, device into my home. I looked everywhere on that thing and for the life of me couldn't find the "on"switch. OMG-they didn't put one on my computer??? Could it be? I did what every self respecting, frustrated, determined woman would do. I called the tech guy. We found the magical button together. What a relief!

From this point on, I had no time to take classes, so while running my store and my household, I learnt how to make this overpriced typewriter become useful to me. I learned,

• Quicken, 
• Quickbooks, 
• Simply Accounting, and then
• Excel and made my own Spreadsheets. 

You see, another major learning key is to know where your money is in business. It's like any good story...always follow the money.

I have now entered the big world of Apple. I recently purchased a Macbook Pro for the Program I am in at the U of W. It has opened an entire world. I am taking an Adobe Photoshop course in this Program. I am learning to manipulate layers of photos. It's not important that I know how to do this as an expert, but it is important that I am empowered with the knowledge of design.

Empowering yourself with any knowledge will always be the determing factor in many vital areas of your life. For example, whether you get that job you want, if you can repair something or whether you can speak intelligently on a particular subject.

When you make a mistake in life, it is always a mistake. We all make them, it's how we learn. (at least most of us) When you don't lean from the mistake it remains a mistake. When you learn from the mistake  it becomes wisdom.

Opinions and Empowerement

Opinions, we all have them.

Some of us keep them to ourselves and some of us express them with no looking back.

Opinions are fine as long as you can back it up with fact or feeling.

I used to watch the Academy Awards with my mom and we would eagerly await the Actors and Actresses (as they were called back then) coming down the Red Carpet or did they come up the Red Carpet? Who’s to say?

Glamour and glitz! It’s a wonderful thing. When I was little, I wanted to be the women in the long gowns with their hair all done high. They were bathed in jewels and exuded such confidence.

Giant ballrooms filled with the elite of Hollywood, masters of their craft, and stars that shine brighter than the chandeliers in the room.

At the Golden Globes this year, it was Austrian Crystal. Curtains and backdrops of crystals were simple yet elegant.  30000 Swarovsky crystals set the stage.

As the curtains pull back and the lights dim, you settle in with popcorn, candy and a pop in hand. The lights go down, it’s finally dark and you’re really there. You pop buttery flavored piece popcorn in your mouth and down some cola. Oh yeah, you’ve got to get this out of the way, as good as it is, its only part.

The coming attractions have come and gone and so has your snack. It’s time, the main attraction, it’s going to start, please let it be all you want it to be. There’s nothing like a movie on the big screen…with Dolby surround sound and it becomes larger than life. It sucks you in and you become one with the screen. You’re part of the action. You feel what the protagonists feel. It’s no longer about the movie…it’s about you.

This year, it’s about a King who had to overcome a speech impediment to lead his country. He had to overcome himself. Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter portray Queen Elizabeth’s parents. It is not only entertaining but also historical.

The other movie is a psycho thriller about a prima ballerina

who wins the lead in "Swan Lake" and is perfect for the role of the delicate White Swan, but slowly loses her mind as she becomes more and more like the evil twin sister of the White Swan, the Black Swan.

The Fighter is a look at the early years of boxer "Irish" Micky Ward played by Mark Wahlberg and his brother portrayed by Christian Bale, who helped train, him before going pro in the mid 1980s. 

The Social Network is the story of the development of Facebook. It’s a chronicle of the founding of Facebook, the social-networking Web site.

"It's not a movie about Facebook," Reznor said. "It's about creativity and consequences. It's about people." http://entertainment.latimes.com/awards/2011/01/golden-globes-trent-reznor-on-social-network-its-about-creativity-and-consequences.html

Inception rounds out the nominee list with Leo as the dream stealer. He’s a master at stealing valuable secrets from the subconscious mind. It’s made him a coveted player in industrial espionage. As a fugitive, he needs to do the impossible…inception, plant an idea rather than steal one.

Key Dates for the 83rd Academy Awards

Nominations for the 83rd Academy Awards will be announced on

January 25, 2011 at 5:30 a.m. PT. The Academy Awards ceremony will be held on February 27, 2011, at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.

Will you have an opinion, of course you will. But, will you have the courage to express it? Just like at the movies, you have a fairy godmother…me! “I empower you to be strong and come out of the darkness and let your opinion be heard.”

Have a get-together, have a drink, vote among your friends and have a good time. Remember, the movies are truly about you.

Life can feel like a puzzle.

Sometimes you’re the center piece.

Sometimes you’re the corner piece.

No matter what, you are essential.

The center is the main part.

The corner is the support.

Life needs you at all times.

Even if it’s a puzzle, don’t be missing.

A good manager influences with power and grace and leads by example.

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.

- John Quincy Adams

My management style has always been reflective in the successes of the teams that I have developed throughout my career.

As a manager, I have hired many people and created many teams. One of the most important lessons, I have imparted to them is one of trust. I always would earn their trust and ensure they would earn mine.

Trust in each other is essential in achieving goals. This trust goes even deeper when as a leader; you must guide your team on their own path to success.

 ~Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

I found myself in this situation when I came here to pursue this education. My team was a priority for me. One lady came to me very nervous, needy, and quite a people pleaser. This was great for sales, not great for life. She was lovely and still is. The difference is now, she is empowered with self confidence and accountability for her actions. She no longer has low self esteem. She is successful and is in management. Another member is also in management. She has followed her heart and with encouragement she is striving in her endeavors. The others have reported successes and happiness. It helps me to know that they are in good places and are managing on their own.

Teamwork needs to be encouraged in and outside of our business life.

I would like to share an important story with you about teamwork that comes from nature. I heard it years ago and it stayed with me and I hope it will stay with you as well.

Lessons from the Geese

This fall, when you see Geese heading south for the winter, flying along in “V” formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in “V” formation the whole flock adds at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.
When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.
When the Head Goose gets tired, it rotates back in the wing and another goose flies point.
Geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.
Finally, and this is important, when a goose gets sick, or is wounded by gunshots and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly, or until it dies. Only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.
By Dr. Robert McNeish, 1972

From this story we should derive that if we had as much sense as the geese, we would go with those headed in the same direction as we want to go.

As a team we need to respect each other. We need to manage difficult tasks. We need to work within each others’ talents and skills.

We will stand by each other, in good times and in difficult times. When the team is strong we need to encourage each other and support one another even more when we need each other.

Empowering a team gives them a sense of accountability, pride and confidence. Think back to when your mom or dad finally trusted you with the mixer or the power tool. Remember, when they said” Now go ahead, you can do it”. They may not have come right out and said the words that they believe in you…but they did. From then on, you had a little more confidence…I did.

Individual empowerment results from quality encouragement. The honking we do must be of quality, and supportive. It is reflective on the leader.

A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not. 

- John Quincy Adams