Give yourself a gift-You-only better!

Look in the mirror. What do you see? 
I hope for your sake you can see what others can't.
What is it you think you see? More important- what do you hear when you talk to yourself? What are you saying? Is it of quality?
Consider a book for mind widening on this topic.

What to Say When You Talk to Your Self

Shad Helmstetter

Recently, I had to write an accomplshment based resume. This was an exercise in something that I am not great at. I have trouble talking about myself. Like when I'm supposed to introduce myself in a new setting, I find it difficult. I struggle with meeting new people and being confident in myself. 

I worked really hard to make my achievements be the key points. I found what worked the best for me was to think of my resume as a vehicle to sell a product. I just happened to be that product. Communicating the best parts of my product - me - made the most effective resume. 

"Remember to be yourself " words not to live by unless you know who you are and how to be yourself. One day, I'm my kid's mom, one day I am Mark's wife, then I am Jeanne, Lorraine, and Marcel's little sister, and ...'s friend and on an on. I worry that I will become entwined in these personas and lose myself. 

I hear from women in the same dynamic that they feel the same way. Who am I? "To thine own self be true"-great if you know who you are. Are you one person or a spicy blend of all. 

What makes my empowerment so true to me...

 If you're wondering what makes me such an expert on Self Esteem and Empowerment, well first things first, I'm not an expert. Unless you happen to believe that life experience and passion to the subject makes you an expert, and then maybe I am an expert...you decide. You have that power! 

I was born in the late sixties to a very French catholic mother. She was a lovely woman but she sent mixed messages. She said that she had changed her name when she was younger because it was Isabelle. Her friends shortened it, as kids will do, and called her "Belle". My mother was appalled and struggled with the thought that this name would surely mark her in the eyes of God with a sign of vanity. For this, she would burn. 

My mother never wore make-up, except for classic red lipstick. This always meant she was going out. This was confusing, vanity is a sin but blood red lipstick is a classic look. 

One day, for no conceivable reason, I looked in the mirror. I stared and stared and wondered. I wondered what makes someone pretty? Was I pretty? I decided in that short moment that I liked what I saw enough that this would never be a problem for me. At thirteen, this was my first sign of rebellion. 

I questioned things from then on I needed to know why? Without the Internet and social media to turn to as a resource, I read.  I read what I could, about the subjects that interested me. I've taken personal development classes and my ultimate interest in self-esteem and empowerment came from my children.

I have three very independent, confidant and self-thinking individuals of whom I am very proud. My most substantial struggle has come from helping my daughter with her diagnosis of Early Onset Childhood Bipolar and ADHD, anxiety, ODD, and OCD at the tender age of ten. She is our second child and our first daughter. My husband and I have been together for a long time and will be married for 25 years in Septemeber-11.

(That’s another story)

Owning and managing my own business was where I accumulated knowledge of this subject and translated it into leadership skills. By managing people, and my home was an amazing, learning platform from which this wisdom grew.

Please don’t think that I woke up one day, read a book, or watched an e-learning doc and became an expert. Throughout the development of this conversation you will come to understand the knowledge base that drives me to share my experiences to empower you.

Messages reflect who we are

It’s difficult to have a high self esteem when, as a woman in business or just the regular world, we send ourselves negative messages. Our inner voice that controls our thoughts and the messages we communicate with ourselves is not always one that should be listened to. Being conscious of the messages we send ourselves is vital to our success as strong, empowered women.

Empowerment comes from within

When your eyes opened this morning, what were the thoughts in your mind. What were those first thoughts? Were they positive or did they sound like; I’m so tired, I can’t believe it’s already morning, I hate that damn alarm, or Cat, get off my head.

What if you were empowered to change these? You are!                             For the next 20 days, change the thoughts. Make an effort to open your eyes tomorrow morning and change the message.

• ·      If you believe in a higher spirit, Be thankful for the day.
• ·      Know that there is “Nothing that is going to happen today that you and your higher power can’t handle”
• ·      The things you have to do today don’t have to be overwhelming, let them be opportunities to complete so you can get the the good stuff
• ·      Always have good stuff-make it simple like a date with yourself for hot chocolate or a half hour to read, something that you like

At the end of each of those 20 days, take a few minutes to be nice to yourself.Replay the events of the day, learn from them and let the rest go, it’s over and your do-over starts tomorrow

• ·      Thank your higher power for the day
• ·      Pray
• ·      Tell yourself there is nothing that is going to happen that you and your higher power can’t handle tomorrow
• ·      Close your eyes

Be practical

Only you can make your life simpler and easier to live and enjoy. It amazes me how much power we really have to influence our own thoughts and actions and yet most of us go through our day succumbing to the pace set by others.

Set your own pace! It’s not a race. Everyone gets the same twenty-four hours in his or her day. The difference is in how you use or waste them.

·      Be organized- any system that helps to keep you on track is the right one for you

·      Prioritize-know who and what is important to you

·      Be grateful-love yourself and the people who matter in your life

·      Schedule “me” time

·      Schedule “couple” time

·      Make time for your friends

Send an email

Pick up the phone

Or even better, go for coffee and share

This is a first step to being positive and making a small change that will empower you to be a positive influence to the most important person in your life-yourself.